Guys, beware! This is the story of a red carpet post all gone wrong and became an “Eyesore of the day” post, a very extended one. You know those sundays you tune into E! Channel with a box of chocolats in expectation of seeing as much stars as possible in great clothes and some very bad choices to make you feel somewhat good that you are in your pajamas instead of a bad dress, in red carpet. Those days are called Red Carpet days and we are about to see a lot of them in the upcoming months. Yesterday was one of those days you feel extra good about your pajamas, seeing a huge number of eyesores at the same time.
I wanted to do a Red Carpet post but I have seen that the majority was more appropriate for our “Eyesore of the day” concept and now that even Kim Kardashian is wearing fierce clothes (this will be my next post, what happened to that woman?) this was an extremely lucky day for the eyesore lovers. The Queen of the eyesore, the master of wrong fashion choices, easily most dislikable person on our planet Earth! Here comes Paris Hilton and I guess a curtain belonging to a newly wed. WHAT IS THAT WOMAN!Do you have no self respect or anyone who loves you enough to tell you this is not a wearable piece of cloth, let alone a gown to be worn in the Grammys. By the way could you guys please remind me why she is there? I was blissfully forgot her existance in the past few months and she strikes back. Revenge the Paris Hilton – In theatres and red carpets. Good lord, please spare us from her sight and especially her voice. The Haus of Milani Gown she is wearing is something I would like to talk more but my blood pressure is having a hard time now. Please don’t look at it more than 3 minutes, it may be bad for your eyes.
İkinci beyaz perde de geliyor. Hayatımın tam olarak hangi noktasında bu ten gösteren dantel elbiselerden aşırı sıkıldım bilmiyorum ama sanırım Jennifer Lopez’in Zuhair Murad’ları ile yanlış kişilerin üzerindeki Givenchy Couture’ler arasında bir yerde yeter dedim. Beyonce baya seksi görünüyor bu arada ona lafım yok… Anne olmadan önceki halinden 5 kat filan daha seksi resmen. Vücudunu eskisinden de seksi yapabilme hızına da hayran kaldım. Ama daha iyi bir seçim yapabilirdi sanki. Yanlış yöne gitmiş bir Gelinlik gibi görünen bu elbise de nedir allaşkına? Bilemiyorumdbelki de Beyonce gibi bir kadının üzerinde J.Lo ya da Eva Longario gibi bir hatunda da sık sık görebileceğimiz bir parça görmeyi kabullenemedim. Bunun için fazla iyi yani… Bu arada tasarımcı Michael Costello.
Here comes the second white curtain… I am not sure at what point in my life I got so sick and tired of all those skin baring, lace gowns but somewhere between Jennifer Lopez’s Zuhair Murads and wrongly placed Givenchy Coutures I became somewhat prejudiced against them. Here Beyonce looks fierce. She looks at least 5 times hotter than she used to be, before she became a mom. I really respect those woman’s pace of getting her hot body back. However I think she could have done better. This is like a bride’s gown gone all wrong. I don’t know, I think I don’t like to see someone as cool as Beyonce in a gown that could easily be on J.Lo or Eva Longario. She is too good for this shit. By the way the designer of that gown is Michael Costello.
Now that we started with the whites, here comes Katy Perry. You know what when I first saw that Valentino Couture Gown last week on the runway, I thought that was the perfect match for a Red Carpet in a music awards ceremony. Appearantly not Katy Perry. The fabric, the cut the horizontal lines made her look a ton. Her arms look weird, her boobs are begging for freedom and her ass looks like a planet. I felt sorry for the dress and Katy. Next time honey…
It is not a Grammys 2014, it is a death valley for your fashion consciousness. Look at f** Lorde. WHAT THE HELL? You are such a good musician and the way you look in your music video is so fresh and “now”, why the hell you magically decided to look like Winona Ryder in Betlegeuse? You are a teenager I see but why on earth a girl in his right mind wear some ill fitted black ugliness to her first Grammys in which she will obviously awarded. I am retreating to my corner where I will weep and think about that question. That’s your fault Lorde! I will never forgive you girl!
Everyone loves a pop icon who takes fashion risks. Isn’t it nice to see someone who always surprises you? Rita Ora was that girl… Until now… Now she is the young auntie of the bride. I have no idea why she wore that greenish aluminum foil for Grammys but it looks too tamed with that hair and uber boring shoes. That Lanvin dress may look good in real life, with a good blazer but, it is not Grammys Red Carpet material, sorry honey. I am sincerely wondering if anyone even remotely cared about Grammy’s this year.
Then there were others who was not an eyesore maybe, but made you yawn and definitely made you sleep like a baby with their boring choices. I guess Taylor Swift is the champion of them. I am so tired of seeing her in beige gowns that I am about to scream! This one she wore for Red Carpet is a Gucci and the “I am a virgin and a girl next door even if I probably did every men who is somebody” look komes with the dress. She basically wears the same dress for every red carpet event. I wish she would not attend every award ceremony to show us yet another beige gown, with embroidery or beads. Please women, stay home once in a while. PLEASE! Her Alberta Ferretti number that she chose for the stage performance is all the same. I would not utter another word about her. Really it is not worth it anymore.
All in all, a red carpet is not a red carpet without Rihanna… And you know they made Kanye West bitter and he did not attend so Kim was missing too 🙁 There were no Selena Gomez, no Lady Gaga, no Miley Cyrus… Oh Miley how I missed you while I am writing this, I wish you were there and showed how its done to Paris Hilton. Such a shame… I am finishing this with 2 great looks. First WIN of the night was Chrissy Teigen in Johanna Johnson. She looked like million bucks. Second golden girl was a very pregnant Ciara in Pucci. This was her biggest fashion moment. I have never seen her looking smoking hot while she was sans baby bump. Keep it up Ciara, this is a-ma-zing! Soooo what do you think? Who failed big time, who should send flowers to her stylist?